Loss.

It is amazing how life can change in a matter of minutes. There is bad news, and then there is tragic news. I have never really experienced a tragedy before this week.

I woke up to nurse Greta at 2:06 on Sunday morning and had a text from my best friend who lives in St Louis asking if I was awake. It had come through around 1:30. I responded that yes, I was now awake nursing, and what was up. Her response was that her husband had been killed in a car accident that evening. She couldn't talk because she was in bed with her 4 year old daughter. My body was instantly flooded with a sick nauseous feeling and I sat in bed for a few seconds before waking Dave. She and I sent a few messages back and forth before she said she was going to rest. My mind was flooded with emotions and questions as to how she would handle life. As mentioned before, she has a 4 year old daughter, in addition to that, she also has a 2 year old son, and is 23 weeks pregnant. I realize my thoughts and concerns pale in comparison to hers.

I spent the greater part of Sunday in my room. I had phone calls from many of our mutual friends who live all over the country. So many of the same questions, why? how? now what? All questions we don't have answers for. There is so much pain, so much agony. One of the messages sent to me said something along the lines of "I keep looking online for some sort of miracle and that this will all go away." I wish I could zoom out and see the bigger picture. I know she will be ok, but she has such a long road ahead.

They were a truly wonderful couple, the kind who had their first wedding dance choreographed, they started with something slow and typical before breaking into a series of fun and wild songs. I remember the entire room standing around the dance floor as together they entertained us all. She is an awesome mother, her kids are her joy. She is a thoughtful friend, sending the most appropriate care packages, custom cds, and cards when I have needed it the most, or the least. He was such a wonderful man. Dave and I had been with them on three different occasions and every time it ended, we would spend weeks or months reminiscing about how great they are. He was the kind of guy who you just wanted to be around, they complimented each other perfectly.

My heart is breaking for her.